班主任看见一帮学生趴在阳台上向下看一位性感美女!并激烈地讨论:“我觉得不是B就是C!”,“很有可能D啊!”,“反正不可能是A!“班主任心里很欣感“课间还在对答案,孩子们实在太热爱学习了”。

今天下雨,从公司出去看到门口一漂亮妹子在树下躲雨。我看有戏,便撑着伞文质彬彬地问:”美女,我有伞,顺路好么?”妹子看了我一眼说:”我男朋友过一会就来,多谢。”我听完微微一笑,使劲一脚把她踹在树上,撒腿就跑。

一个急件超时两天了还没到,领导夜里发微信问我:来没来啊,到底来了没啊?我安慰他:别急,一会我去帮你催。该死的输入法打成了帮你吹。早上老板上班,一臉的哀怨,眼都打肿了。

我26了,老妈一直催我找对象,我说:”你看嫂子不也是30才遇到我哥的吗,大不了我跟她一样成几年剩女。”在一旁的侄子听了不乐意了,说:”姑姑你能跟我妈比吗?我妈研究生毕业,有体面的工作,稳定的收入,那才叫剩女,你这样子呀,最多算个女光棍!”

小朱使劲地对着女朋友爱抚着,当摸到胸部时小朱间:这是什麼东东啊?女朋友回答道:这是电铃啊。小朱又间:那电铃为什麼按下去没有声音呢?女朋友这时气愤地说:笨蛋!没插电怎麼会有声音?。

我婶子给我姐介绍了一个对象,但是我姐有点害羞,于是拉上我一起去了。见面后,对方也带了男的,应该也是害羞吧!然后我们就坐下来聊天了。大约聊了一二十分钟的时间,我姐和她相亲对象都找借口离开了,就剩下我俩了。后来我俩也聊得很是开心,于是相互留下联系方式。回到家之后,我发知道给我姐介绍对象是假,给我介绍对象才是真,这套路够深的。

昨天下班回家,看见几个小学生合起来买了一条打底裤,给在学校旁边摆地摊卖学习资料的美女。其中一个小屁孩对美女说:大姐姐,求你了,下次来卖书的时候穿上它,不然我爸接我放学又要帮我买练习册了,给,我这里还有200块都给你了。

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